1) By the way
... Trust me, I’m from Australia
2) Predictions Vanuatu's new PM
Natuman may face his own no-confidence vote
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1) By the way ... Trust me, I’m from Australia
The Jakarta Post | Headlines | Sun, May 18 2014, 9:53 AM
Why did Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott cancel his visit to Indonesia? The budget has been suggested. Bunkum! It’s because words in Australia’s proposed code of ethics have been lost in translation. Fortunately we’ve found them.
Thanks to certain unidentified whistle-blowers, this column can now reveal details of the top secret negotiations under way between Indonesia and Australia following last year’s spying scandal.
Readers will remember the Australian government greatly offended its northern neighbor by tapping the phones of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and his good lady wife, First Lady Ani Yudhoyono.
The outraged President demanded a new code of conduct between the nations before formal military cooperation could be reintroduced. Since then senior bureaucrats, etymologists, black-letter lawyers and spin doctors have been seeking the right words to resolve the impasse and soothe hurt feelings.
Here’s our exclusive — details of Australia’s response — which fell off the back of a becak (pedicab).
Ethical Code of Conduct (Draft 149a). Without prejudice.
Preamble: Australia will never, ever, cross our hearts, swear on the blood of our convict ancestors, spy again on our dear and most trusted best friends in Indonesia — unless it’s in our national interest, or we are instructed to do so by Washington.
Border respect: We pledge to acknowledge and respect the sovereignty and territorial integrity of our great neighbor. We will never again cross borders without the gracious permission of the Indonesian government — unless our navigational equipment malfunctions.
No surprises: We will always notify you of any policy decisions we may or may not make from time-to-time before public release. However, we cannot be held responsible for any leaks published by the mongrel media causing you great embarrassment. This we will regret.
Disclosures: Should such leaks occur, we categorically pledge to launch thorough inquiries into the source (unless we leaked). We will condemn the stories as lies perpetrated by unnamed mischief makers, traitors and unpatriotic journalists. However, it must also be understood that we support absolutely the freedom of the press in a robust democracy.
Law: Should Indonesian slaughter men kick our cows, or customs arrest our drug mules, we will urge our citizens to respect Indonesian rules — even though we think they’re weird. Your laws, not our people. However, we reserve the right to interfere should the Australian electorate get annoyed to the point where our seats in parliament are threatened.
Disquiet: Australia will never knowingly use megaphone diplomacy or make inflammatory statements that insult Indonesia and arouse public disquiet — unless these are in our Machiavellian master plan. Which we don’t have.
Separatism: We will not tolerate Australian NGOs grandstanding on separatism in West Papua. No ifs, buts or maybes. We will contrive to be outraged and issue awesome media statements. See Clause 8.
Provocation: Should the Morning Star flag be raised on Australian soil, we will monitor the situation closely. That’s our clear and unequivocal position. We cannot yet control the opposition parties, the churches, NGOs and others concerned about alleged human rights abuses. About these we know nothing — unless revealed otherwise by WikiLeaks. Clause 7 will then apply.
Donations: We will give you orange lifeboats, patrol boats, Hercules aircraft and other military hardware that’s passed its use-by date. A condition of our generosity is that you do not remove certain specialized electronic equipment that may, or may not, have been installed.
Aid: Through the careful placement of our limited aid money and in close association with Indonesian ticket-clipping authorities, we will fund projects we consider appropriate through the archipelago to the great benefit of Australian contractors. This aid will continue, unless our domestic budget needs demand otherwise. For security reasons such information must remain confidential.
Denial: We will neither confirm nor deny the existence of this or any other draft document or briefing notes that may or may not have been prepared by rogue contractors, outside operators, over-imaginative journalists, casuals and interns unauthorized by the Australian government and without our knowledge.
Communication: A hotline will be established to rapidly resolve problems. Phone anytime during Canberra business hours. Otherwise leave a message. Your call is important to us and may be used for training purposes.
Penalties: These protocols shall come into force on a date to be agreed but not disclosed. It may or may not remain in force for an unspecified time.
— Duncan Graham
Thanks to certain unidentified whistle-blowers, this column can now reveal details of the top secret negotiations under way between Indonesia and Australia following last year’s spying scandal.
Readers will remember the Australian government greatly offended its northern neighbor by tapping the phones of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and his good lady wife, First Lady Ani Yudhoyono.
The outraged President demanded a new code of conduct between the nations before formal military cooperation could be reintroduced. Since then senior bureaucrats, etymologists, black-letter lawyers and spin doctors have been seeking the right words to resolve the impasse and soothe hurt feelings.
Here’s our exclusive — details of Australia’s response — which fell off the back of a becak (pedicab).
Ethical Code of Conduct (Draft 149a). Without prejudice.
Preamble: Australia will never, ever, cross our hearts, swear on the blood of our convict ancestors, spy again on our dear and most trusted best friends in Indonesia — unless it’s in our national interest, or we are instructed to do so by Washington.
Border respect: We pledge to acknowledge and respect the sovereignty and territorial integrity of our great neighbor. We will never again cross borders without the gracious permission of the Indonesian government — unless our navigational equipment malfunctions.
No surprises: We will always notify you of any policy decisions we may or may not make from time-to-time before public release. However, we cannot be held responsible for any leaks published by the mongrel media causing you great embarrassment. This we will regret.
Disclosures: Should such leaks occur, we categorically pledge to launch thorough inquiries into the source (unless we leaked). We will condemn the stories as lies perpetrated by unnamed mischief makers, traitors and unpatriotic journalists. However, it must also be understood that we support absolutely the freedom of the press in a robust democracy.
Law: Should Indonesian slaughter men kick our cows, or customs arrest our drug mules, we will urge our citizens to respect Indonesian rules — even though we think they’re weird. Your laws, not our people. However, we reserve the right to interfere should the Australian electorate get annoyed to the point where our seats in parliament are threatened.
Disquiet: Australia will never knowingly use megaphone diplomacy or make inflammatory statements that insult Indonesia and arouse public disquiet — unless these are in our Machiavellian master plan. Which we don’t have.
Separatism: We will not tolerate Australian NGOs grandstanding on separatism in West Papua. No ifs, buts or maybes. We will contrive to be outraged and issue awesome media statements. See Clause 8.
Provocation: Should the Morning Star flag be raised on Australian soil, we will monitor the situation closely. That’s our clear and unequivocal position. We cannot yet control the opposition parties, the churches, NGOs and others concerned about alleged human rights abuses. About these we know nothing — unless revealed otherwise by WikiLeaks. Clause 7 will then apply.
Donations: We will give you orange lifeboats, patrol boats, Hercules aircraft and other military hardware that’s passed its use-by date. A condition of our generosity is that you do not remove certain specialized electronic equipment that may, or may not, have been installed.
Aid: Through the careful placement of our limited aid money and in close association with Indonesian ticket-clipping authorities, we will fund projects we consider appropriate through the archipelago to the great benefit of Australian contractors. This aid will continue, unless our domestic budget needs demand otherwise. For security reasons such information must remain confidential.
Denial: We will neither confirm nor deny the existence of this or any other draft document or briefing notes that may or may not have been prepared by rogue contractors, outside operators, over-imaginative journalists, casuals and interns unauthorized by the Australian government and without our knowledge.
Communication: A hotline will be established to rapidly resolve problems. Phone anytime during Canberra business hours. Otherwise leave a message. Your call is important to us and may be used for training purposes.
Penalties: These protocols shall come into force on a date to be agreed but not disclosed. It may or may not remain in force for an unspecified time.
— Duncan Graham
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2) Predictions Vanuatu's new PM Natuman may face his own no-confidence vote
Updated 19 May 2014, 11:52 AEST
Long time politician, Joe Natuman yesterday became the country's third leader since national elections in 2012, after a vote of no confidence against the incumbent Moana Carcasses Kalosil saw 40 of the 52 MP's give their support to Mr Natuman.
The strategy of calling for a vote of no confidence to oust the prime minister during an ordinary session of parliament caught most people by surprise.
The Pacific Institute of Public Policy's senior communications officer Kiery Manneseh, thinks the landslide victory is no guarantee that the Natuman government will last very long before facing its own vote of no confidence.
Presenter: Geraldine Coutts
Speaker: Kiery Manneseh, senior communications officer for the Pacific Institute of Public Policy Institute
MANNESEH: The tricky part was that because it was an ordinary session, it's not normal for people to go. I mean usually in the past, when there is an extraordinary session and there is a motion, usually there would be a boycott and people would go back and usually there is time to negotiate and that's the. The tricky area is that this an ordinary session, nobody could go out do negotiation. It was an ordinary session, so it caught everybody by surprise when the government was changed here on the floor of parliament. Yeah.
COUTTS: So strategically, it was a bit of a coup?
MANNESEH: Yes, you can describe it as that. Because really nobody was really took the motion as serious, because it's been happening in the past, people took it that it was just one of those motions against that's going to be defeated by Moana. And in fact, newspaper reports just before the motion was debated, were suggesting that the government was intact, I mean after they came out to say that he was fully behind Moana and there were comments from people from Ralph Regenvanu on social networks, saying that the government was intact. So it's a bit of a surprise for everybody to suddenly see the government moving over and joining the Opposition.
COUTTS: So there were a lot of games being played. But how long do you think this government of Jo Natuman will last before someone like Ralph Regenvanu, who has leadership aspirations pulls the same stunt and takes over?
MANNESEH: That is a very, very interesting question. It is still very early stages. The appointments usually, the appointments of people into portfolios, usually that's a main test and if you look at the line up that Natuman has assembled, there are some very interesting appointments, for example, Sato Kilman, who was appointed as Foreign Affairs Minister, clearly, Sato does not share some of the foreign policies that Natuman might like, for example, the issue of West Papua and people like.
COUTTS: Well, just on that for a moment on West Papua, Prime Minister Natuman has traditionally been pro-West Papua, but Sato Kilman, as the new Foreign Minister as you point out is basically pro-Indonesia. So how can these two work together?
MANNESEH: Yeah, that's the thing. It will be very, very interesting to see how Natuman could work with Sato, and especially in relation to Indonesia being part of the MSG. It was under Sato who allowed Indonesia to come in and to be part of the MSG as an observer, so that is yeah, that's one area where people could still have some doubts as to whether this government will last and a key area of challenge for Natuman really.
COUTTS: And Prime Minister Natuman has already indicated that he'll be looking closely at some policies and perhaps might actually overturn some, including the international investment in the airport, with a Singaporean company. Will that be a popular move if he does that?
MANNESEH: The international airport has been cited as one of the reasons for the motion, as well as there are other major, major issues, for example, the decision under the former government to allow dual citizenship. There's a scheme there been set up the former government and so really, these are the issues that it would be very, very interesting to see how Natuman, because they were supportive, and we have to make it very clear here that people who are driving the project, especially the airport's project are very close to Natuman and not to the Vanua'aku Party. So for now, people like Ham Lini, they were against it, including Sato Kilman.
COUTTS: Both have been appointed to in the line up with Joe Natuman, Ham Lini and Sato Kilman. So that again could be interesting?
MANNESEH: Yes, yes, definitely yes. Natuman being the Prime Minister, I think reflects that sentiment that most ni-Vanuatu have that someone who is an indigenous ni-Vanuatu should be holding onto that prime minister's role.
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